Having guy friends can be a lot of fun, but things can get stressful when a birthday or other gift-giving event comes up. You probably want to give him something that will show him you care, but you're afraid of giving him something he won't enjoy.
Worse, you may be concerned about giving him anything that will give him the impression that you are interested in him. Don't worry - by selecting an acceptable gift, making it clear that you're not interested, and avoiding frequent missteps, you'll be able to elicit an ecstatic (but entirely non-romantic) response from your guy friend.
1. Choosing the Right Gift
1.1. Get him something that caters to his interests
Because this individual is apparently your best buddy, you should be familiar with his hobbies and interests. Giving your man friend something that reflects his hobbies or, even better, something that helps him do his pastime is nearly always a safe option. These kinds of gifts are usually well appreciated because you're giving him something he'll truly use while also demonstrating that you put some consideration into the gift.
If you're not sure what your man friend enjoys doing, a quick trip to his house or apartment should help you figure it out - simply look at what he has laying around and what's on his walls. For example, if you see a stack of Nintendo magazines, he's probably a gamer, so a new game or other Nintendo memorabilia would be appropriate. Similarly, if you spot a Metallica poster on his wall, he's probably a lover of the band's music, so a performance DVD or other band paraphernalia might be in order.
1.2. Pick something he'll find amusing or funny
If you're concerned about your abilities to choose a gift that your buddy would enjoy, go for something light-hearted or hilarious — after all, it's difficult to read too deeply into a gift while you're laughing your head off! You might base it on an inside joke the two of you share, or you could just go for something humorous in general. The latter is more impersonal, but also less likely to give the wrong impression, so use your discretion. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
Comedy films and stand-up comedy records
T-shirts with humorous slogans, odd knickknacks, vulgar board games, and so on are examples of novelty gifts.
Prank gifts include something you know he despises (such as a jersey for his favourite sports team's opponent), items that are amusingly out of style (such as hideous 1970s sunglasses), strange non-sequitur (such as a sack of potatoes), and so on.
Something witty that plays off his name - for example, if he's named Brian, a Life of Brian movie poster may be appropriate.
1.3. Get him something functional
Giving your man friend something merely practical - that is, something valuable to him but not particularly "warm" or intimate - is a sure-fire method to satisfy him while avoiding unpleasant misunderstandings. For example, if your man friend spends a lot of time at the gym doing weights, you could get him a set of fingerless weightlifting gloves, some gym shorts, or even a few weights for his home. These types of gifts demonstrate that you are aware of what your friend enjoys doing, but they are usually low-risk because they are unlikely to anger him or appear overly affectionate.
The possible issue with these types of gifts is that they can sometimes come across as frigid. Giving a simple, useful gift to someone you've known your entire life may cause wounded feelings if your guy buddy is sensitive about such things, so keep this in mind.
You should also keep in mind that some useful presents can send out unintentionally unpleasant sentiments. A subscription to a health food magazine, for example, may carry the unintended message that you believe your recipient should lose weight.
1.4. Get him something he can use with his friends
Another great way to show your appreciation for your friend without sending the wrong signals is to make your gift all about your guy friend and his circle of friends (which obviously includes you, though you don't have to pick a gift that you would personally enjoy). For example, if your guy friend is in a band with a few of his other buddies, a great gift would be to give him a custom-designed T-shirt with his band's name on it. You could also get him a rhythm-based music game like Guitar Hero so that you can all play it together.
If your guy friend has a significant other, the same idea applies, so you could wish to acquire something for each of them. Two tickets to a show put on by the couple's favorite local band, for example, is a terrific way to give your male buddy an interesting night out with his favorite sweetie (with or without your presence - your choice).
This is also an excellent approach to de-stress if you've recently had a conflict with some of his other buddies. You're essentially offering an olive branch and saying, "I want us all to get along" if you purchase him something that you, him, and the other pals can use together.
1.5. Get him a "manly" gift
Choosing something that appeals to your guy friend's sense of masculinity or his image as a gentleman is usually a safe bet. Pocket knives, watches, and driving accessories, for example, offer memorable gifts that are appropriate for both young and senior men. Here are a few more suggestions:
Ties
Tools
Belt fasteners
Shaving supplies
Wallets – many men go for long periods of time without purchasing a new wallet, so this present is likely to be very appreciated.
1.6. Save cash by making something yourself
Your present does not have to be very expensive in order to create a significant impression. Making your own gift from scratch is a terrific way to demonstrate that you actually care about your buddy, and while these kind of gifts are frequently far less expensive than a similar gift purchased from a store, the time and attention you put into the gift is usually extra-meaningful. Here are a few fun DIY gift ideas to get you started, but feel free to get creative and build your own!
You made a work of art (like a painting, drawing, or sculpture)
a handcrafted item (like a piece of furniture, skateboard, laptop stand, etc.)
A article of apparel made by hand (like a knit hat or mittens)
Some home-cooked meals (like cookies or brownies - non-perishables are best)
You wrote and sang a song (if you're genuinely brave!)
1.7. When in doubt, give a gift card
If you're concerned about giving your guy pal the wrong present, let him choose it! Gift cards and gift certificates are fantastic ways to show your appreciation for your man buddy without the dangers of more customized gifts. Many consumers prefer gift cards to traditional gifts. In fact, statistically, the more general-purpose the gift card, the more likely someone is to enjoy it. Most importantly, you can usually pick up these gifts on your way to your friend's birthday party at a chain grocery store.
1.8. Don't be afraid to ask
Guys are typically hesitant to tell others what they want as a gift, especially for occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. Some guys are timid about asking for stuff from other people, while others simply don't care what they get. This might be annoying when shopping for gifts, but don't be afraid to press your friend for information (with respect, of course.) Usually, even males who keep quiet about what's on their wish list still have something they'd like, so start digging.
2. Avoiding Romantic Undertones
2.1. Steer away from "lover's" gifts
Whatever your intentions, certain presents come with romantic "baggage" that is difficult to ignore, so you should avoid them. Anything you might consider giving your sweetheart on Valentine's Day should be off-limits for platonic pals. Breaking this rule might have serious implications (especially if your friend has an S.O.), so be careful! Here are a few examples of "romantic" gifts that you should avoid:
Personal scents or cologne
Flowers
Cufflinks or other pieces of jewellery
Fine chocolates or other delicacies (especially those in stylish, elegant boxes)
Expensive add-ons (e.g., Rolex watches, fine pens, etc.)
Clothing that is provocative (Funny T-shirts are fine, but silk boxers, terrycloth robes, stylish jackets, and so on are too personal for platonic friends)
Tickets to an event for just you and him
2.2. Be goofy or crude in your card
It's often not the present itself that leads a guy to believe you're sending him signals, but the message that comes with it. It's easy to misinterpret friendly kindness and compassion for anything more serious, so keep things light in your card to prevent this totally. Some overeager men may detect romantic signals in even the most ridiculous of cards, but the risk is considerably lower than with a genuine, passionate letter. Here are a few examples on how to make your present message pleasantly irreverent:
Write in SMS-speak (for example, "I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Thx fr bein a gd friend.")
Be amusingly condescending (e.g., "I'm not sure if you're aware, but selecting this card was quite difficult. I was expecting to get it back so I could re-gift it to Amy for her birthday next week. Oh, and happy birthday ")
Include a silly acrostic of his name (for example, for a friend named David: D — Daring / A — Amazing / V — Very cool / and so on).
Make crude or unusual doodles in the margins.
2.3. Be a little impersonal about giving him the gift
It's not just about what you offer a guy friend; it's also about how you present the gift to him. Even if the gift is something simple, such as a new phone case, gushing over your friend's reaction can create inappropriate concerns. On the other hand, presenting your friend his gift coolly and casually, as if it doesn't matter what he thinks of it, will allow you to leave unhurt.
However, there is a delicate balance to be struck here: being too impersonal might come across as unpleasant. For example, placing an unlabelled package with his gift on his porch and not mentioning it to him for a week may give the impression that you don't care about your friend. You know your friend better than nearly anyone else, so be mindful of his sensitivity.
2.4. When in doubt, consider chipping in for a group gift
Teaming up with a few other people to cover the cost for a gift isn't just one way to save cash on an Collaborating with a few other individuals to pay the cost of a gift isn't just a great way to save money on an expensive gift; it's also a great strategy to prevent "sending the incorrect signal." It's difficult to disguise a collective gift as a personal, romantic gift from you to your pal. After all, there's a chance you didn't even choose it! Best of all, a short, courteous note on the card is all that is required for a group present, so you don't have to risk the hazards of a lengthier, more personalized remark.
2.5. If all else fails, drop copious hints that you're just friends
If you're concerned that your gift will be misinterpreted, use your card to explain your connection in completely platonic terms. Make an effort to refer to yourself and your guy friend as merely buddies. Use phrases such as "buds," "pals," "houses," "dudes," and so on. Avoid anything that could be interpreted as romantic, such as addressing yourself as his "dear buddy" or concluding your letter with "Yours."
Unfortunately, for some men, this will not suffice. In some circumstances, you may simply need to ignore your friend's dog obsession until he loses interest. If he becomes too distracting to ignore, most relationship experts advise being direct - that is, telling him openly that you do not want to damage your friendship with romance. For further information, see our article on the subject.
