GIFT-GIVING SECRET: THE SHARE OF VALUES

Good gift giving is an art. The perfect present can lift a mood or improve a relationship. It can clean up your mistakes, or simply remind a loved one that you care.

The art of gift-giving 

Gift giving should not be regarded as a chore. It must be from the heart. When you give, you should be giving something willingly without wanting something in return. Making someone feel special is a good enough excuse to contribute more. It indicates to the receiver that you were thinking of them.

While it feels fantastic to be on the receiving end, there is a sense of self-gratification when you are the one doing the giving. This cannot be measured in monetary terms. The pleasure you feel when you open a present is fleeting, but giving delivers a more self-fulfilling experience that lasts for a long time.

We learn this when we are young. We give our parents good scores because it makes them happy. A simple gesture can elicit a positive response. It has been demonstrated that the act of giving makes us happier than the act of getting. It makes no difference how valuable the present is.

Two types of gift-giving strategy 

Psychologists have long been attracted by the topic of gifting because it reveals so many other key human characteristics, such as how we see others, how we assign value to objects, our decision-making abilities, and our ability to empathize.

According to them, there are two approaches they recommend for finding the perfect present. The first is to be "recipient-centric," which means looking for a present that reflects the characteristics or interests of the person receiving the gift. The second is to be "giver-centric," which means you are focused on offering something that expresses your personality or reveals something about yourself as an individual. But which choice is superior?

Giver-centric gifts are preferred

Researchers discovered in a series of studies that most people believe recipient-centric presents are preferred. People who took part in these research, on the other hand, experienced greater intimacy when they got a giver-centric present. It appears that providing presents that reflect your own personality or interests has more value than trying to prove how well you know someone by purchasing something they will like. Those that are  symbolic of the giver, especially gifts that demonstrate actual sacrifice in terms of time and effort, appear to be highly valued.

The problem with recipient-centric gifts is that we frequently second-guess what the recipient might prefer. A simpler technique would be to clearly ask what the other person wants. According to research, while gift-givers believe that receivers will like both requested and unrequested gifts equally, recipients actually demonstrate a distinct preference for things that they have specifically requested.

Gift-giving is sharing values

Gifting is, in fact, a type of communication; thus, money aside, problems with gifting are really problems with finding out what you want to communicate. We can blame wealth for the variety of options available to us, or blame advertising for "making us want things we don't really need," but none of these are as easy as admitting to ourselves that the quality of our relationships is less than what we want them to be.

At their most basic, gifts - whether money, gift cards, toys, or time - are valuable items that we offer to those we love and care about. Without going into economics or labor, the value in the global economy comes from people: human thought, creative energy, time, and labor transform raw materials into other things that other people like, use, eat, wear, and experience - and people will pay money to have these things, go places, and enjoy these experiences.

Whether you create something for someone else, buy them something made by someone else, or spend time doing things with them, you are providing something of worth that stems from the value of your own life. Gifts need money, time, effort, or a mix of the three. Time is money, and time is the substance of life. Gifts reflect your values and come from your life, either directly or indirectly.

This is becoming more tough since people have various value scales. And part of the trick is determining your values, the values of the other person, and where they overlap (if any). Giving something that reflects your values as a giver but not the receiver's values will almost certainly result in the gift not being appreciated. Giving something that represents the recipient's values but not the giver's values just adds to the receiver's bewilderment, because the receiver is well aware of the inherent contradiction between the giver's values and the values indicated by the gift itself. If the present goes against the giver's ideals, the "sacrifice" may not be accepted because the provider has betrayed his own values.

Ideal gifts for everyone

Ideally, the gift should show that both the giver and the receiver have similar goals and values . A gift of art shows the giver's taste in art, which he or she hopes the recipient will share. Toys bring joy not only to the kids who play with them, but also to the parents who like to see their kids happy. Gifts show what's important to the person who gives them and what's important to the person who gets them. When a wife buys her husband a tool, she knows that he will use it to make or fix something that they both value, like their home or a car. When a husband buys a dress for his wife, he knows he's giving her something that makes her feel pretty and makes her happier. He also chooses a style and color that he likes on her.