There are a million ways to express your love and affection for your sweetheart. But do you know which ones they'll value the most? Tough question, isn’t it? Fortunately, Gary Chapman, a well-known American psychotherapist and book author, created what we now refer to as "the five languages of love."
Knowing your partner’s love language is crucial to your relationship. It increases your and your partner's appreciation and allows you to convey your requirements more effectively. Furthermore, understanding the many sorts of love languages will assist you and your partner in determining what you should do without being asked. As a result, your relationship will be happier and more fulfilling.
Five languages of love
Physical Touch: Hugging, holding hands, cuddling, caressing one another, skin-to-skin touching, kissing, and having sexual intercourse are all examples of physical touch. If physical touch is your partner's love language, nothing makes him or her feel more cherished than being close to you.
Quality Time: We all know time is gold. If this is your partner's love language, the best gift you can give him or her is your complete attention and presence.
Acts of Service: A popular song begins, "Saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from you..." For some, the finest way to express love is via acts. If this is your partner's love language, he or she will appreciate it if you can assist with tasks.
Words of Affirmation:If your partner likes words of affirmation, telling her she looks great, thanking him for bringing out the garbage, or saying the magic words "I love you" to that person is enough to make him or her feel cherished.
Gift-giving: Giving gifts is one of the oldest ways to demonstrate love. It is practiced in most parts of the world and has become a cultural tradition for many. Gift-giving is appropriate for milestones, anniversaries, celebrations, and even ordinary occasions. These can be everything from modest gestures to surprise delivery and valuable items. Gift-giving is “speaking" our affection through gifts.
What does it mean when your love language is gift-giving?
Gift-givers tend to be sentimental
Gift givers are the sentimentalists among us. The ones who keep movie ticket stubs from their first date. The ones who still have that holey sweater they should get rid of but were given to them by a dear friend. The ones you can always rely on to bring you a souvenir from a trip they take.
Gift-givers are planners and supporters
Gift-giving is unique among the love languages in one way: it requires the most planning. You can express your feelings for someone without even thinking about it. It is possible to spend time with someone while not participating or internalizing. However, when you give a present, you are actively thinking about the other person. Even a simple gift for your child's classmate's birthday celebration necessitates a great deal of consideration. Those that have the gift-giving love language feel most appreciated when you think of them.
Out of sight, but not out of mind
Building on the last section, one buddy said, "I'm out of sight, but I know I'm not out of mind." This is something I notice a lot in my parents-in-laws. They'll frequently phone me when I'm out shopping and inquire whether my boys need trousers. Or if I put whipped cream on my hot cocoa because they discovered a new flavor that they want to share. I'm not in their presence, but they're thinking about me. Gift gifting demonstrates their love for me and my family.
When do you treat gift-giving as your love language?
What if gift-giving is your love language? To begin with, you most likely learned this as a child. "A person may have acquired this in childhood, or it may be a reaction to not having gotten gifts earlier in life," explains Ramani Durvasula, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and author ofShould I Stay or Should I Go?
Durvasula also mentions a few indicators that gift-giving is your love language. Among these are:
You never forget tiny hostess presents or gifts to mark even minor special occasions.
You remember to bring back gifts for loved ones from your excursions.
You spend time and effort selecting the perfect gift.
You put a lot of effort into getting the item perfectly wrapped or packaged.
You make considerate gestures on a regular basis, such as bringing back two coffees or giving someone a cup of tea in the afternoon.
You get obsessed with gift-giving holidays such as Christmas.
Understanding that the price tag has no effect on the impact of the present is the secret to the gift-giving love language. It's the meaning behind it that's important. Gifts provide this person both a memory and a keepsake of that memory. When the rest of us forget minute details and short events, present givers can recall a seemingly small, meaningful moment with amazing clarity with the help of these sentimental totems.